Cinderella (abridged version)

Cinderella by Roald Dahl
I guess you think you know this story.
You don't. The real one's much more gory.
The phoney one, the one you know,
Was cooked up years and years ago,

And made to sound all soft and sappy
Just to keep the children happy.

Mind you, they got the first bit right
The bit where in the dead of night,

The ugly sisters, jewels and all,
Departed for the Palace Ball,
While darling little Cinderella
Was locked up in a slimy cellar,

Where rats who wanted things to eat,
Began to nibble at her feet.

She bellowed 'Help' and 'Let me out!'
The magic fairy heard her shout.
Appearing in a blaze of light,
She said, 'My dear, are you all right?'
'All right?' cried Cindy. 'Can't you see
'I feel as rotten as can be!'

She beat her fist against the wall,
And shouted, 'Get me to the ball!'
'There is a disco at the palace!'
'The rest have gone and I am jalous!
'I want a dress! I want a coach!
'And earrings and a diamond brooch!
'And silver slippers, two of those!
'And lovely nylon panty-hose!
'Done up like that I'll guarantee
'The handsome prince will fall for me!'

The fairy said, 'Hang on a tick.'
She gave her wand a mighty flick
And quickly, in no time at all,
Cindy was at the Palace Ball!

It made the ugly sisters wince
To see her dancing with the prince.
She held him very tight and pressed
Herself against his manly chest

The prince himself was turned to pulp,
All he could do was gasp and gulp.

Then midnight struck. BONG X 12
She shouted, 'Heck!'
'I've got to run and save my neck!'

The prince cried, 'No! Alas! Alack!
He grabbed her dress to hold her back.
As Cindy shouted, 'Let me go!'
The dress was ripped from head to toe.
She ran out in her underwear,
And lost one slipper on the stair.
The prince was on it like a dart,
He pressed it to his pounding heart,
'The girl this slipper fits', he cried
'Tomorrow morn shall be my bride!
'I'll visit every house in town
'Until I've tracked the maiden down!'
Then rather carelessly, I fear,
He placed it on a crate of beer.
At once one of the Ugly Sisters,
(The one whose face was blotched with blisters)
Sneaked up and grabbed the dainty shoe,
And quickly flushed it down the loo.
Then in it's place she calmly put
The slipper from her own left foot.
Next day, the Prince went charging down
To knock on all the doors in town.
In every house the tension grew.
Who was the owner of the shoe?
Now came the ugly sisters' go.
One tried it on. The Prince screamed, 'No!'
But she screamed, 'Yes! It fits! Whoopee!
'So now you've got to marry me!'
'There's no way you can back out now!'
'Off with her head!' The Prince roared back.
They chopped it off with one big whack.
This pleased the prince. He smiled and said,
'She's prettier without her head'
Then came up Sister Number Two,
Who yelled 'Now I will try the shoe!'
'Try this instead!' The Prince yelled back.
He swung his trusty sword and smack
'What's all the racket?' Cindy cried.
'Mind your own bizz', the Prince replied.
Poor Cindy's heart was torn to shreds.
My Prince! She thought. He chops off heads!
The Magic Fairy hove in sight.
Her Magic Wand went swoosh and swish
'Cindy!' She cried, 'Come and make a wish!'
Cindy answered, 'Oh kind fairy,
'This time I shall be more wary.
'No more Princes, no more money.
'I have had my taste of honey.
'I'm wishing for a decent man.
'They're hard to find. D'you think you can?'
Within a minute Cinderella,
Was married to a lovely feller.
They’re house was filled with smiles
and laughter
And they were happy ever after.

Girls
Boys
Everyone
Fairy Godmothers – Priska, Dea and Carol
Cindy – Miranda, Abby and Nabila
Princes – Henry, Riam and Jordaan
Ugly sisters – Kayla, Jessy, Sammy, Fio, Jessica

Costume jeans and white shirt